I had really wanted the first words out of my mouth when I saw a positive pregnancy test to not be “Oh, sh!it,” but there it was. I walked out of the bathroom and tossed the stick on the bed in Chad’s direction, then promptly buried my head under a pillow. Two teeny stripes on the teeny tiny plastic stick, barely bigger than a match.
I half wanted it to be right and half wanted it to be wrong. This was SO not planned. But ugh, even the idea of trying to get pregnant just seemed to suck all the fun out of sex. We had talked about maybe this fall. Mid-July wasn’t so far off; it would be okay. But this was SO not planned. So I peed on another stick. That second line was fainter than the first test had been. But really, those pregnancy tests cost about $.17 each, part of a multi-pack of ovulation strips and preg tests that I bought on Amazon. So I found another pregnancy test in the linen closet – trusty Walgreens brand – and peed on that one. The test was quite possibly expired. But it was definitely positive. We laughed in disbelief and cried happy tears and stared at each other in stunned, crazy silence and finally fell asleep somehow. The next morning, I peed on another stick. Just to be sure. We’re having L1. The first Little to join our family.
How I’ve been feeling
I never threw up during my first trimester. I know; I’m lucky for that. I did, however, feel kind of hungover all day every day for the first 10 weeks. Dull headaches, that gross sour stomach feeling, craving breakfast burritos, don’t talk to me in the morning, do not touch me, I just want to take a nap, do I really have to get out of bed? It was exhausting.
And the girls hurt. That was actually the first symptom I noticed, right away. My breasts feel A) uncomfortably huge, and B) badly bruised. Super fun.
I’ve also had some pretty unfortunate lower back and hip pain. I’m doing pilates and other stretching and going to a chiropractor and not sleeping super well very often, to be honest. That’s probably my least favorite part about being pregnant so far.
We found out right at 4 weeks, and I didn’t have my first appointment until almost 9 weeks. Those 5 weeks were long. I felt sick, but I didn’t feel pregnant. The sonogram helped make it a little more real. We heard the heartbeat at my 12.5 week appointment – loud and strong at 167 bpm. Everything looks good so far and we really love our OB. We don’t love that she’s at Lakeside. West Omaha, womp womp.
At the 10 week mark, the nausea went away almost completely. As long as I don’t let myself get too hungry, my stomach feels pretty pre-pregnancy normal. Now at 14 weeks, I’m still exhausted and touch-sensitive and exhausted and my back and hips still hurt and I’m still exhausted. I would definitely like to take a nap. But all in all, pretty good.
What I’ve been eating / not eating
During the first few weeks, I was on a pretty steady diet of animal crackers and corn chex. Then for a while, popsicles and grape kool-aid were the only things that tasted good. I could (and did) eat other food, it just didn’t taste very good. I’m still not loving to eat meat that I cook myself. For the past several weeks, homemade Chex mix is hands down what tastes best. I really miss hard cider, but Chad found some non-alcoholic cider at Target that hits the spot. With the exception of one unfortunate incident involving an entire can of Pringles and a lot of regret (omg don’t do that), there haven’t been any ridiculous food issues so far. I totally reserve the right for that to change in the future.
How I’m really feeling
I continue to be simultaneously super excited about having a Little, and also super overwhelmed by the timing – Chad is applying for business school for Fall 2015, and admissions decisions are announced the week after L1 is due. We’re slowly marching towards the edge of a Big Life Changes cliff, and we know that we have no idea what waits beyond. We’re in this together and I can’t say enough about how supportive and patient and gracious Chad has been – SO VERY, but it is a lot right now.
Also? No one told me that I’d feel fat before I felt pregnant. I gained right at 5 pounds during the first trimester, which is totally okay, but WOW it’s uncomfortable to feel too big for my clothes. Shirts that fit normally very quickly didn’t. Thanks, girls. The old hair-tie in the zipper trick saved me from buying new jeans for the first couple of months, but it didn’t feel good or look normal (to me). I switched to elastic waist jeggings and maternity pants this week and got a new maxi-skirt and I’m never going back. BLISS. Buttons and zippers are for the birds.
No significant bump yet, just big boobs and a few too many snacks. And my big weird claw hand. Maybe I’ll have Chad start taking these pictures for me.
The best moments
Telling my sister was pretty awesome. She may have screamed. Posting it on Facebook & Twitter finally was amazing. It was like engagement night all over; watching the joy and celebration roll in like ocean waves was tearful and overwhelming in the best way. Online excitement is real excitement and online friends are real friends, yo.
I took a 5th pregnancy that 3rd morning, just to make sure it stuck. Yep. I’m having a baby. Little #1 is coming – due March 19. Our 2-family is becoming a 3-family. We’ll never be the same.